Folgers, just leave the feminism to us. You go ahead and make your coffee.

Ye olde Folgers commercial (or alternatively, Pretty Wife, Icky Coffee)

I know, it's from the 60s, but honestly? This makes me want to break things.

Look, I understand that doing nice things for your husband or boyfriend or whatever is great and the key to a good relationship. I like doing nice things for people in general, so of course I try extra hard for someone that I love. But it's his disdain for her and the way he knocks her down that's so infuriating. "How can such a pretty wife... make such awful coffee?"

Ladies, that's the part where you stick your nose up in the air and say, "Then make it yourself, asswipe. You're the one drinking it."

Also: she's such a pretty wife! Who brings her man coffee! How delightful! Gag. Now I remember why I love actresses like Mae West so much. If everyone in the 60s was like that, I'd feel better about my daydream of living with the Rat Pack.

And all that matters is her coffee? I won't even go into that.

Therefore:

Dear future husband,

I recognize that you may like coffee. I like coffee too. So you see, I can make my coffee. If you don't like mine (why I don't know, as it's perfectly fine), make your own damn coffee. Easy, right?

Love,
Dominique

(That's assuming I make my own coffee and don't buy it at a coffeeshop, what with my penchant for chai lattes. Sheesh.)